The Lost Arey Journals

Wednesday, November 24, 2004
I’ve been wandering for days. It’s been four days by my watch, which I hope is still working. The way that the ceilings light up during the day, is creepy. I don’t know how I ended up in these tunnels, but I cannot find anyway out. I must have fallen, maybe I have amnesia because I don’t remember being anywhere near a cave. I’ve explored as far as I can get before the lights go out, I’m afraid to get too far from where I woke up and not be able to get back. I found this room yesterday, a bedroom of sorts, with a bed and some books, but little else. This book was empty, except for the symbol that I see on several of the books. I figured that I had better write to keep myself sane here, I’m worried that I’m going to loose it if I don’t find a way out soon.

Monday, November 29, 2004

I got lost today. I almost didn’t make it back before it went dark. This place is like nothing I’ve ever seen before. There must be some unusual species of bacteria or fungus living in the walls that create the day and night cycles here. The walls of almost all of the caves are coated in a thick rubbery buildup of some kind, and in the ceilings the vein-like lines of luminescence brighten and dim with the hours. During the “day” they shed enough light for me to get around, and not trip, but it is still hard to see any real distance, and at night they reduce to such a mild glimmer that all I can see is the lower ceilings, not even the floor.
These tunnels are like a maze. I’m going to have to make a map so that I can explore further from my only water source and still be able to get back. I’m still not sure if the water is safe to drink, but it hasn’t hurt me yet, and I have little choice. It drips from the ceiling, in a corner, not far from the “Office” (that’s what I’ve decided to call the room where I found this journal). It is definitely not pure water, it had a rather unpleasant taste at first, but I’m getting used to it. I need to find some food soon as well. In a few places I’ve found vegetation hanging from the walls to chew on. It has a consistency like rubbery seaweed, and a taste that is predictably as foul.
But I am surviving, I have to take courage in that. There must be some means of surviving here; the signs in this room suggest that someone lived here for quite some time. It also means that there must be a way out. I just have to keep working, and keep my head, and I should be alright. I will find it … I hope.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004
I found something interesting today. I was rummaging around the office this morning, and I happened to pick up one of the books on the shelf. All of the books are written in pictures and hieroglyphics and until now I haven’t been able to make out anything. But as I leafed through the pages of the book I picked up this morning, I saw something that I recognized. On the end of the shelf I had previously seen a sealed jar with some very large and distinct looking seeds in it. The diagram in the book showed the same jar being filled with water followed by a complicated flow chart of pictograms and symbols. I think I’ll set the jar under the spring outside the Office. What can it hurt?
I realized that last week was Thanksgiving. I wonder what my friends are doing for the holiday. I’d give just about anything for a nice turkey now. My friend’s wife cooked the greatest meals; I really miss good food. I hope that I can get out of here soon. I made a little progress today I got a little further down the right passage; there is a lot of old dead vegetation down there.  It might be a sign that I am getting closer. But I felt like I was going further down instead of up towards the surface, and there was a foul smell down there. It was getting dark and I nearly fell into a hole as it was, so I decided to get back to the Office for the night. I’ll get back there tomorrow and check it out.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004
It doesn’t seem possible, but the seeds I planted last night have grown already! Not just a sprout, but an entire plant has boiled out of the jar, and sunken roots into the floor, it has flowers AND fruit. I’ve never heard of a plant growing so fast. What ever it is it isn’t normal. The leaves are large and broad and its flowers are delicate and pale, but smell strongly. The fruit is rather unappealing to the eye. It grows as lumpy brown blobs the size of a grapefruit. I opened one up hoping to find something good to eat. It has a really thick leathery skin, and is all just green mush on the inside. But it tastes a lot better than the wall-weed I’ve been eating.
I thought I heard something, near the Mush plant. A rustling or something, it came from the corner opposite the spring hole and the plant. I checked but couldn’t find anything. Maybe some rodents have moved in to nibble on my new food supply. It’s funny, but until now I haven’t seen any sign of fauna down here at all.
Following the tunnel to the right got me nowhere. There is old dead vegetation down there, but it just goes on and on. Some of the dead leaves looked like the same as the ones on the Mush plant. I really don’t know how any plants could grow without sunlight. Maybe what ever it is that glows in the walls has something to do with it. Not that it gives off enough light, but some luminescence has started to show around where the Mush plant’s roots have dug into the ground.

Saturday, December 04, 2004
I’ve been sitting here for at least an hour now. I don’t dare move. I woke this morning to find the creature in the room with me. It’s lying on the floor between me and the door. At first I didn’t dare move, but after waiting for so long the adrenaline has wore off and I have found myself needing something to calm me. And so I write.
Yesterday, I went to get some Mush fruit for breakfast. But I found that the plant had been stripped bare! I knew then that I had had some hungry little visitors, at least that’s what I thought at the time. There were still flowers that would give ripe fruit by later in the day, so I went about trying to map out the tunnels and chambers in this strange place. Throughout the morning I couldn’t help but feel like I was being watched. I kept hearing noises, but never saw anything. Eventually I returned, expecting to find more mush fruit eat, instead I found something very unexpected.
As I was approaching the tunnel where the Mush plant grows I could hear a squishing chewing sound. Fearing that my fruits were again being devoured I ran ahead not thinking about what I would find eating my food, or what I would do once I found it! As I rounded the corner I stopped dead in my tracks. There, devouring Mush fruits, was what at first looked like a very large…
It just left. The creature just left the room, what a relief. It didn’t even seem to notice me or care, but it must have known I was here. I can hear it chewing on mush fruits outside. I’m glad that I barricaded the door after it went outside.
It’s so big and moves so fast. It looks for all the world like a greyhound, but so much larger, it’s slender back must come clear to my waist. But it doesn’t move like a dog, or even breathe like one. Yesterday when I spooked it by the Mush plant, it tore off with speed like I’d never seen before.

It seems to move either very, very slowly or at a full gallop; faster than I have ever seen anything run back on the surface. It’s shape is so weird, dark fin like projections on it’s shoulder blades and tale, and it’s so slender and long it looks like it has been stretched.  I could hear it breathing as it slept in the room here.   It sounds like a heart-beat, like it’s breathing double for every breath.

This is going to make things more difficult to have to compete for food, and being on the look out for that thing will slow me down. I really don’t need that; especially after having so much trouble mapping these caves out yesterday. This new animal doesn’t seem to be mean, it has ignored me so far, and seems to eat mostly mush fruit, but it sure doesn’t look like an herbivore. I don’t want to take any chances down here. At least not until I can figure out how to get back to the surface.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004
I’m really tired today. I should be after spending the last two nights awake. On Sunday I went to explore further and to work on my map. This one area has me very confused. The tunnel is straight as an arrow as far as I can tell, and has many paths branching off of it. But every time I try to follow it to its end I find myself inexplicably back where I started. Apparently my mapping skills and or my sense of direction are very misguided. I’ll never find a way out at this rate.
At some point in trying to sort out the mess of tunnels I took a wrong turn. I don’t know where I ended up but I could not find my way home to the Office. I walked and walked and walked. Soon it got dark, and I had to stop for fear of stumbling or falling down a hole. I lay down against the wall of the tunnel exhausted, frustrated and a little scared. I must have fallen asleep there, because the next thing I remember was waking up with my veins pulsing with adrenaline. There was a steady noise growing louder and louder. In the darkness I couldn’t see anything, but the footsteps that had awoken me were moving quickly in my direction. I knew that it must have been the creature. Instantly I was on my feet and running myself. I knew that it was no use, but I was terrified at the thought of being helpless in the dark with the creature from the day before.
I didn’t run far before I tripped and fell. How far I fell I am still not sure, but it was only a matter of moments from when I awoke to the sound of the runner coming towards me and when my head stuck the bottom of the pit into which I fell and was unconscious yet again.
When I woke, I could hear the distinct ripple like breathing beside me again. The creature that I have now come to call “the Runner” was lying across the tunnel watching me with its head rested against the ground. As I stirred the Runner became alert, and came over next to me. I stood to me feet slowly opening my hands non-aggressively. He gave one of his calls, low, deep and clear, like a bass guitar, alerting me to the fact that I had a pounding headache.
The Runner ran ahead, around the corner, but then returned and called at me again. I followed in a stupor trying to keep track of the beast which was always well ahead of me calling in it’s low tones so that I could follow. It led me to another water hole where the water dripped from the ceiling and pooled on the cavern floor like it does by the mush plant. There the Runner and I made peace and later, after I had recovered sufficiently, he led me through the evening and into the night back to the Office.
The Runner is such a strange animal. It seems to know all of these caves and tunnels, and seems to be tied somehow to the ecosystem here. The day and night cycles are stronger today, the ceilings illuminate the tunnels and caves like sunlight now. New plants are sprouting up all over, and I’ve seen several small fluffy rodents scurrying about. It has all happened since we got back to the Office. I’m not sure, but I think that the Runner had something to do with it.
It took into the night for us to get back to the office (I must have been unconscious for a long time) and along the way the Runner did something that seems as though it may have started things living again down here. At one point in our journey we passed through a very large cavern, it was black as night in there, I could only tell it’s size by how the echoes of our feet against the floor came back to us with such delay. As we made our way through the cavern, the Runner leading slowly for once, and me following the sounds of his footsteps, my new friend did something new. He started to call, making deep bellowing tones that echoed through the cavern. I thought at first that he just liked to hear his own voice but as his call progressed it sounded more like a song. It escalated louder and louder and then diverged into chirps whistles and shrieks that echoed from every direction. He was calling to other creatures in the caver, and they had answered him. Then suddenly the melodious din stopped. The Runner walked on and I again followed.
As odd as it was I didn’t think much of it until this morning when I awoke to find plants sprouting up here and there outside the Office. I’ve caught glimpses of several small animals today all of which look very foreign. I’m beginning to feel as though I’ve stumbled into Jules Verne’s “Journey to the Center of the Earth”. I need some rest, who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Thursday, December 09, 2004
The days are definitely much more distinct now, and there are plants growing everywhere down here. It’s turning into a jungle. Lately I’ve just followed the Runner around.  He’s brought me to all sorts of very interesting places, I’m starting to get the hang of getting around down here, although I still can’t make my maps work in several areas. At least now I know my way around enough to get where I want to go. There is a nice patch of berries not too far away that are much better eating than mush fruit. I think that the Runner was getting tired of my eating his staple food. Now with the berries and a few other fruits that I have found I only have to share with the smaller animals around.
It’s funny, but none of the creatures down in these caves seem to have a fear of man. Most of them tend to ignore my presences and go about their busy work (they all do seem awful busy). A few, like the Runner, seem to actually greet me when they see me. It’s encouraging to have friends of a sort down here while I’m missing my home, although the “Pterapeds” as I have decided to call them, can get a little annoying. They chirp noisily and hop all around on the ground and on me whenever I go by their roost. Although they are cute, they are funny looking little creatures, having only two limbs that double both as feet and leathery little wings, and tails that split into two half way down with webbing in between the two halves.
The Runner has been staying fairly close to me today, he seems a little nervous. He usually sleeps in the Office, which is ironically comforting to me. It was especially comforting to have someone there last night after that awful dream. I don’t know what spurred it, but all I remember was seeing an awful face inside of the wall. It wasn’t a human face by any means; it was bug like and scary. There were three sets of slender bug like eyes stacked one above the other going up the face and it had dangerous looking mandibles near it’s mouth. Ironically in my dream there was a glow around the creature almost like a halo or something. I woke up suddenly in the dark, I must have screamed because the Runner was already alert and beside me looking around.
It must just be the stress. Although I haven’t felt all that stressed lately. I still desperately want to get home but the amazing and beautiful things that I keep finding down here make easy to forget my worries. We will see what tomorrow brings.

Thursday, December 16, 2004
It wasn’t a dream. They’re everywhere, Bugs as big as a man, living in the walls. I’ve been on the run for a few days now trying to avoid them. The first one I saw was when I last sat to write in the Office. I saw its face appear in the wall watching me, like a ethereal Specter. We watched each other silently for some time; all I could see was the flat almond shaped face with wispy hair like tentacles that glowed blue all around. Then to my horror I watched as it used it’s mantis like forearms to slash through the wall revealing it’s long centipede body and many insect limbs. It came toward me but I bolted for the door. Since then they’ve been appearing all over, leaping out of the walls and ceilings without notice. They seem to be after me. Runner usually stays with me, but he just cowers when the bugs show up not even thinking to use his amazing speed. I don’t know how we woke these things up, but I wish they would leave me alone. At least I have my journal with me I don’t dare return to the office with these Specters on the lookout for me. This dream has suddenly turned into a nightmare.
At least being on the run will help me to write shorter entries…

Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Nothing makes sense anymore; I don’t even know where I am or how the events that have unfolded are even possible. Something is terribly wrong here. I have to get out, but I’ve gone from wandering through what I thought were catacombs to running for my life to being finally being captured and sealed in this tiny cavern to die. Sometimes I wish I could just perish down here. I don’t even know if I really am underground anymore.
Shortly after my last entry the Specters caught me. I hadn’t seen them in a while and thought that it might be safe to sneak back to the Office, and maybe try to figure out what is going on from the books there. But they were waiting for me.
I was ambushed by several of the hideous creatures. Runner was nearby but merely watched, they may have gotten him as well, I can’t be sure.

What happened next I can’t quite explain either. The largest Specter caught me and held me tightly with two of his large walking limb, and with several of the short paddles that lined his body. Dragging me to the wall I watched as he sliced a whole and started to carry us both into the space behind the wall. I fought as hard as I could but it was to no avail I remember being squeezed tightly and then released for just long enough to make me gasp right before I was dragged through the opening in the wall. Inside of the cavern wall I had expected to find another passage, or stone or something. But I was mistaken.  It felt like being dragged through a pool of gelatin. It was so thick that the specter seemed to swim through it, and there was no air. At one point I did open my eyes. I saw the wispy tentacles of the Specter helping it along, and long veins of glowing light, like those in the ceilings of the caverns, passing us by. Just as I thought I would run out of air I was pushed through another hole and into this room, where I have been left to myself since.

I don’t know where I am, but this is certainly no natural cave as I had thought. There never was stone behind what I thought was a buildup of fungus on the walls. I am inside of some sort of living organism, an organism that seems to be run by these terrible Specters. I can only conclude that I was brought here for storage before being devoured by whatever kind of colony these bugs live in. There is no hope left for me.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Sitting here as I wait for what I know will be my end, my mind keeps coming back to the days of my youth. Recently I have paid no attention to the religion, but the experiences of the last few weeks, and the danger I am in now have forced it upon me.
I remember the Bible story’s I learned about Jesus, and sin, and death. The more I think about it the more I see that the good things that I have done have done nothing to erase the pain I have caused to others whether by intent or willful ignorance. I have been living my life just trying to balance the good with the bad and hoping that it was “enough”. But now I wonder, how can it possibly be enough? If I were to be lost here forever, how long would the good deeds that I may have done last? Perhaps forever, but they will only last as equally long as the sorrow I added to the cycle of hurt that seems to be always growing in the world. Good doesn’t make up for Evil, it only makes more good, it’s like apples and oranges, I guess. No matter how many apples I collect it won’t displace the oranges that I have gathered as well. Only perfect goodness can overcome such wrong, and I have been far, far from perfect.
I don’t want to end my life like this, there must be a way out, and in this moment I feel drawn to those old Sunday school stories. They said that God could take away our sin, by his own sacrifice, and make us new so that we don’t have to fight to maintain a “goodness quota”. I didn’t much care then, but I want that now. I fear that there is no other way to lose this guilt that my attempts at charity cannot overcome. My heart is so heavy; finally after all of these years I am staring reality in the face and having to make a choice. Perhaps I will die here and no one will ever know, but at least my conscience will be clear. Maybe God can find a way to correct the wrongs that I did before this moment even if I never return home. I haven’t prayed since I was a kid, but something is pushing me now, I feel that I have to, there is no other way…

Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Is it possible for things to make more and less sense at the same time? Sometimes I think that I must really be sitting in an institution somewhere and that the things that I am seeing are all in my head. Yesterday I thought for sure that I was going to be eaten. Now it seems that I have been given a mission.
I waited all day in that room, and finally they came. I fell asleep just before dark, and when I awoke I found that my Specter captor had returned. Wrapped about himself he hung from the ceiling like a stalactite from the thin glowing wisps that extended from under his layered body plates. As soon as I stirred so did he. The creature approached me, I tried to escape him but there was no place to go.
Soon I was cornered against the wall. Behind me was a circular shape on the wall of different texture than the rest, it was blue and slimy and lined with a thick ridges or metal like material. I had nowhere to go, I was cornered against this wall. The Specter approached slowly and studied me for some time. But shortly he made his move, raising a sharp mantis forearm he struck with blinding speed. Before I could react I felt the hot sharp pain in my shoulder. The creatures face was practically against mine, it’s triplicate sets if inset eyes peering at me as though through a mask. Pinned to the wall I could not move.
But then, without explanation, he stopped. The creature withdrew its razored arm from my shoulder, letting me fall the floor with a slump. The Specter backed off, and leapt to the ceiling, where it resumed its vigilant watch. I lay on the floor for hours nursing my bleeding wound wondering what the reason could be for such torture. I moved to the opposite side of the room to get as far away from the creature as possible.
But as soon as I started to relax, again the creature came to life. This time I could tell I wasn’t just being chased, but herded. Again the beast cornered me near the marking on the wall, but this time instead of striking the Specter lunged with his entire body at me. I jumped backwards against the ornamented wall behind me.
Instantly everything was gone. I was alone in an empty fog; I thought for sure that I had died. I called out, and to my amazement I got a reply. “Who are you!? What are you doing here!?” the reply was quick and scared but then as quickly as the vision came, I was back in my tiny prison. I looked about just in time to see the Specter slip into the wall and disappear leaving me alone with the mysterious wall.
I have since found that every time I touch the wall, I am immediately drawn into the same vision. The vision becomes clearer each time I touch itl. It is as though I were brought here to find this oracle. I suspect that the key to my escape is connected with the secret of this room.

Friday, February 04, 2005
After such a long time I finally found my Journal. I guess I had lost it in the Nexus, when I was finally allowed to leave. So much has happened since that time, it wouldn’t be prudent for me to sit and try to write it all out, especially considering the crisis that we are now in, but over time I may be able to catch up my log of the most recent events.
I guess the most important thing right now is the crisis itself. It seems that ecosystem of this living world was asleep for a reason. Everything is slowing down again, and getting weaker. There seems to be something wrong that is causing the plant systems fail. Many of the animals have disappeared again, some even falling into hibernation suddenly.  I find them curled and unconscious in the middle of paths everywhere.  It’s terrible. The plants are all dying off; I have to find out what’s wrong here before my own food supply runs out.
The Nexus hasn’t been of very much help (the Nexus is something I’ll have to write more about later). It is clearly central to the operation of things around here. The Specters seem to be it’s primary agents, and serve it most directly. From what I can gather it also knows much about what is going on, often talking about things “fading”, but it seems unwilling or unable to do anything about it. Mostly the Nexus just talks in morbid riddles and seems to wallow in despair. In learning to communicate with I’ve found that it responds so much like a child; arguing, ignoring, and throwing tantrums when I probe it with too many questions.
Regardless I am going to go back and speak with it again, and if that fails I’ll take the Runner and go exploring some more. Since the Nexus has “woken up” many more passageways and rooms have opened. Maybe I will find something helpful. I might, also try to decipher some of the books in the Office, even though this has so far proved a futile effort.

Monday, February 07, 2005
The Nexus proved singularly useless today. It was in a very miserable mood and would only talk about how much it missed a certain someone (it cannot communicate names clearly still). Whoever this person or thing was, it was very important to the Nexus. I wonder if it was another human trapped here like me, maybe the one who left the journals in the office.
I’ve explored as far as I can, still without finding anything helpful. There are a great many things to see and things to understand, but nothing of use yet. I am still amazed at how the tunnels in this place work, I have yet to produce a reasonable map. It’s as though the tunnels pass through one another without ever meeting. I’ve given up on mapping for now, I can get around well enough by landmarks, it’s too confusing to try and figure it out.
I did find a small pond this evening. Its source is a small waterfall emanating from the wall above. I couldn’t see any outlet. Maybe I’ll go back tomorrow, if I can find where the river goes maybe I can find a way somewhere new, or maybe someway home.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005
My entries here were again interrupted by a rather disturbing event. I had intended to write a lengthy description of the Nexus, and my theories on how it operates, but my adventures through the catacombs swept me away for several days again.
I was investigating the pool (mentioned previously) that I had found in a lower level cave when I was separated from my journal. I had started carrying my notebook with me wherever I go, but on this occasion I left it on the bank of the pond because I had planned to go wading in search of it’s outlet. I was not prepared for what happened next. The exit of the river from the pool was through a gaping hole in the floor. I hadn’t waded far before I was sucked in.
I was carried along in the underground current dimly lit by the luminous filaments that saturate of the walls here. There was no air, only warm rushing water. I have never been a strong swimmer, and fear was overtaking me as my lungs began to feel like they would burst. When at last I thought I could last no more my body went limp and darkness began to fill my eyes.
I was suddenly brought back to consciousness by a surge of adrenaline as I felt something grab me. I remember that my arms and legs were quickly wrapped and held by stronger arms, though I had no energy left to fight even if I had so desired. I thought I was going to die and be eaten. But the truth is stranger than fiction here, as I am learning . I suddenly found myself crammed into a small space filled with moist warm and most importantly breathable AIR. There was no room to move, I was crushed into a fetal position by the rubbery walls about me, but there was more light. Through the walls enclosing my so tightly I could see and feel the rush of the river on the outside.

Before I knew it I was in the open again, pushed out into shallow water much like where I had come from. Back on my feet I turned behind me and caught a glimpse of a luminous creature descending into underground rivers through another hole in the basin of the new pond in which I was standing.
From there I was lost, and it has taken me a great deal of time to find my way back to familiar tunnels. But I will have to write more on that later, I think I may have found something important, but need time to think, and rest.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005
After thinking for a while I’ve decided that I’m in a very un-natural place, or perhaps an extremely natural place. Thinking over my horrific ride through the subterranean waterways, it seems to me that they may be something like the circulatory system of a gigantic organism. These are not caves indeed, the Specters travel through the walls like through flesh because that is what they are. I’ve somehow been consumed and am trapped within some monstrous creature filled with separate creatures that living within it.
There are many other unusually things about this place as well. There was something within the depths of the caverns that I saw while I was lost. It was like a lone ray of light that emanated from no source. I followed it for a long time before it disappeared. That was just before I found the cold levels, and the Shell.
I think I’ll bring the Shell to the Nexus tomorrow and see what it has to say. It’s the most unusual thing I’ve seen down here.

Thursday, June 30, 2005
Well, the Nexus seemed very interested in the Shell that I found, if that is in fact what it is. The Shell itself looks something like a dark semitransparent crystal; oblong with smooth faces on several sides. The Nexus behaved rather oddly about it. It seemed to believe that it could be something important, but communicated to me that it was not likely to help our dilemma (the Nexus is very concerned over the continual decline of the living things down here).
It tried to explain to me what should be done with the Shell. But the Nexus uses some kind of neuro-chemical signaling to communicate, and has a very hard time describing things which I have not yet seen or experienced. It seems to depend on parts of my own memories and experiences to piece together what it wants to say, so naturally when it tries to talk about things I have never seen it has a very difficult time.
It did, however, find a more practical means of giving me direction. Once I left the Nexus’s chamber I was greeted by a Specter, which led me through long and new passages to the room where I am writing now. There is a small raised dais that is filled with water, (much clearer water than most of which flows around within the walls of this place). Something that the Nexus had said made me think that this was the place. I’ve set the Shell in the dais and it seems to be doing something, but very slowly. I’ll have to wait until morning to see; I can’t stay awake any longer.

Friday, July 01, 2005
Something is certainly happening. A film developed over the water where I placed the Shell last night, and when I woke this morning it had swollen into a large water filled bubble that expanded out of the top of the well. It has continued to grow all day. It’s nearly the size of a beach ball now and I can see that it has fine vascularization inside and out. It is definitely made of a living substance. What it is or what I’m supposed to do with it I have no idea. More waiting…

Thursday, July 07, 2005
What was once a pool with the Shell sitting at the bottom of it is now a gigantic bubble filled with liquid. Earlier today a little pad developed at the rim of the well. It looked like the great the big wall that you have to touch to talk to the Nexus only in miniature. Thinking it was the same type of thing I laid my palm on it and knew I was right when I felt the familiar sting that accompanies contact with the Nexus.
Only this wasn’t quite the Nexus itself but an interface to something else. Instead of thoughts from the Nexus I felt new memories coming to my mind strong and direct but simple. And they were not memories of my own.
I felt the sensation of flying floating and soaring always drawn towards and almost orbiting a large swimming animal, (I couldn’t quite make out what it was). I felt that I was not alone, there were others with me, following me. The other things flying about with me were my responsibility somehow, but we were all sad. The sadness had something to do with the large creature that we swam around. I’m not sure what it was but it was as though something were missing like it should have been bright and warm and was instead growing cold, dark and quite.
Suddenly there was chaos all around and I saw my following being destroyed as though they were being shot at. We all dove back to the giant thing we orbited looking for protection. But before I could reach safety a large rock came shooting directly at me. I felt it tearing into me and a painful burst, but then the memory was over.
As terrifying as it was I had to touch the pad a second time and see the memory again. It is seems as though it is the memory of someone’s last moments preserved within the Shell. I found my way back to the Nexus and arrived late tonight. For the first time the Nexus was truly excited, it was too much for my mind to bear once I told the Nexus what had happened and what I had seen in the memory, I had to let go of the great wall that we talk through. The “daylight” that comes through the walls has lasted a full hour later than usual, something I assume to be connected with the Nexus’s excitement (further evidence that the Nexus is the mind of this creature that I am trapped within). The Nexus said that I must return tomorrow and that it would be there with me to help me (with what I am not sure). It also gave me this image which I had seen before in some of the Journals. Whatever this is it seems to be what all of the fuss is about.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005
It’s the most marvelous thing now that has happened. This morning I left early and found my way, back to the well where I had left the shell. Along the way things were brighter and more alive than they have been in a long time, though not quite as lively as they were when the creatures first started to wake up. I got to the pool and found that the great bubble still swelled out of it. I touched my hand to the pad again, but instead of memories I found that I was speaking to the Nexus. It spoke to me of many things but I cannot remember it all clearly, it was all like a dream, as though the Nexus were using my mind and my imagination to do things that it could not do itself.
Bits and pieces of the memory from before came to my mind, and I remember something about trying to find a balance between floating free like a feather and the safe security of a stone. It was all really weird honestly.
But in the end the Nexus said, ”Now plant him somewhere safe and in time we will see,”
When I woke I found the bubble gone and in the bottom of the pool instead of the shell was a rather large and slender seed. I’ve taken the seed and planted it as best as I could by the Mush plant. We will have to see what grows from it.

Monday, July 18, 2005
It’s been several days now and the new seed I planted has grown. Into what I’m not sure, it started out looking like a large cabbage head; pale, green, and round. On one side it had two heavy shoots that grew from beneath and arched over the main body. It’s grown some since then, the two leaf spikes have grown longer and the round main body has gotten much bigger lifted off the ground on a sort of curved trunk that branches smoothly into two before entering the ground. It looks as if the round “fruit” I guess you would call it is tucked into the curve of a big letter “C” the way the trunk curves up from the ground, and the thick upper spires arch over it.
The Pterapeds really like it, they and the Runner are some of the few remaining creatures that have hung on. They hop all around it constantly, and chirp incessantly. I’ve noticed that plant itself generates a great deal of heat; this is what seems to draw the little birdlike Pterapeds. The warmer it gets the more they flock and flutter about. It seems like they are trying to keep it cool. A weird idea, but I guess anything is possible around here.

To Be Continued…

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